walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
