i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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