I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.