i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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