Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
