I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We got so high we made milksteak
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
