im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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