what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
