I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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