I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
