Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
