my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
