There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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