Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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