I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
