New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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