eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Do vagina's smell?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
