he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
