some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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