Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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