I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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