I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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