I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
