Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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