WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
