how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
