I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
