Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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