He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
