All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
