Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
