He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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