I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
