i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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