I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
