where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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