That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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