just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
