I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
