She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I have post one night stand depression
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