I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
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I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
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He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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