brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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