im about as happy as oj after his trial
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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