Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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