i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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