I CAN MOONWALK!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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