My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
did you just send me my own nude
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
