capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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