My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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