I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
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Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
How naked do you want me to be?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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