true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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