No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize