I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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