ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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